Adventures in nyc.

My first holiday, travel blog post. I do hope you enjoy this post (especially as it will be a hugely wordy post), the first of many, I hope. I decided upon seeing a great travel deal to book a family holiday to the United States, more specifically the city that never sleeps, New York city.

Boarding Passes Finally!

Although initially it was a bit of a faff, with all the Covid restrictions especially around testing before and after flights. Requiring a fit to fly test which is costly if not planned for. We eventually made it, and it was an experience navigating Heathrow airport, when it was so busy, as a group of first timers. Of course we successfully managed to check in, receive our boarding passes and navigate security. We flew with British Airways, which was a satisfactory experience, especially with complimentary food and drink, including a mini bar.

Upon touching down in JFK Airport, we managed to navigate a surprisingly friendly border and customs officers. We initially thought about getting the public transport to our hotel, yet we arrived in the city, at 6:30pm. So we got cash out, and was shown to a reputable classic NY yellow taxi cab stand. After a long and quite dangerous 25 min drive, we arrived at our hotel, The Carvi Hotel. The front desk and check in went smoothly, and we was quickly shown to our ensuite room, on the 7th floor, which also housed the entrance to the rooftop terrace. The hotel overall was very small, with no bar, or kitchen, yet the location in Manhattan was very well placed. I also very much enjoyed just sitting out on the terrace, during the evenings, and seeing the lights, the city noises and also feeling quite small, surrounded by the skyscrapers, even being on the 7th storey level.

Carvi Hotel Roof Terrace at night.

Although we planned our 3 full days in NYC before we left, Of course nothing of the planned happened exactly how we wanted it too. We walked from our hotel, down to Grand Central station, so we could purchase our metro cards, and also see the beautiful station. It was also a weird experience as a English family, seeing US army men, patrolling with guns on show, as well as when we was out and about seeing NYPD officers. To be clear, we know of the gun laws, and that it’s legal, but of course being from a different country, it was an experience for us.

The first full day, we spent exploring the city from 6:30am – 7pm. We did a tour bus around Manhattan, we visited times square, escape virtuality, grand central, Bryant park, to name a few. We also popped in McDonald’s, Starbucks and a CVS pharmacy. Our first taster of virtual reality was super fun, and the staff were great and friendly. All I want to do know is buy an Oculus Rift. (One Day I Hope). It must be known though, that it’s a very New York thing to not have many if any public restrooms. The only ones we found was at Bryant park, and in Madame Tussauds. Aside from that we made our way back to the hotel. I also embarked on a lone boat trip, to get a little closer to the statue of liberty, while my mum and brother waited on shore, by the pier for myself to return, with slightly better pictures of the statue.

A big part of this trip was to also finally visit the 9/11 memorial and museum. It is still hard for me to word it, and I was asked like ‘why would I bother visiting?’ or ‘It didn’t affect you’. But I remember being 7 years old, watching the attack on the tv. I remember it, and the subsequent law changes to many countries, to help prevent further terror attacks, affected many countries. It was just important for me personally to go and pay my respects.

I am also a huge impractical jokers fan, and although we didn’t manage to go on the Staten island ferry, we did go around a few places they have filmed in the past seasons, which did make me happy. Now jokers is a tv show, I will watch on repeat, it always cheers me up, and makes me laugh even after numerous viewings.

I also got to bring along one of my fave designs in my suitcase, so it got a little tour around NYC too. I enjoyed modelling it on the hotel roof terrace, and you too could purchase one from the online store: www.rebeccaklxo.teemill.com

My Attitude Tee Dress Design, Available Now.

We also found the subway system, surprisingly easy to navigate, unlike the London Underground tube station. I honestly don’t know how, maybe cause the lines are like separate and there is a few station cross overs, but not as many line crossovers as in London. I also had so much joy when I finally found a subway cart to ourselves, for a few stops, until it got very busy.

Overall it is a very lovely city, and way too much to do to fit in a 3 day holiday. I will of course return again in the future. Even after my most frustrating experience trying to get cash out at an ATM machine. So I recommend just taking cash and not using a currency card.

If you enjoyed this let me know, and any other travel suggestions in the comments. Of course now the travel bug has bit me, and I can’t wait for future adventures with my family. I’ve included a few images here, but you can view most my content via my Instagram link.

~RebeccaKLxo

Open Letter: An example to not settle again.

It’s been 2 weeks, but I need this for closure on my personal level. Nearly 8 years clearly meant nothing to you, but for me, I am grieving the love and life I thought I had. As a girl who never wanted to be a single mother ever, has ironically ended up in this situation. But to use our son as a scapegoat for your actions and behaviour is horrendous.

Yes I had a dating profile, we met on a dating profile for gods sake, and once we became official, I did not think lets log in to delete my account. I just deleted the apps etc. I never logged in, until I was that mentally broken down and lonely in the relationship that I was just looking for talk and speech, nothing else, to feel not as alone. A girl shouldn’t feel like that in a relationship. The difference is intent, I never intended to meet, sleep with or have any romantic relationships. To which I never did, but I very much believe you intended to out of spite. Or Just cause you didn’t want to tell me, you didn’t love me anymore.

It’s worse that you knew, for at least over 2 years. But you never said! If this happened earlier I would not be as heartbroken. Of course I am going to be heartbroken, I was planning on hopefully being a full family, I wanted it all, relationship, baby, engagement, wedding, house, grow old. When we walked around, and was talking about why I wanted to study so we can work on getting a house. When we attended the wedding 2 months ago, and i was talking about our wedding, you agreed, and I thought we was on the same page. Little did I know, you had already moved on to the next girl.

I didn’t want to break up, I just got to breaking point, being so very lonely in our relationship, I just wanted our dates back, and to go back to where we was in love. I told you this, but you wanted to be single. To be honest seeing your lack of complete emotion, like a sociopath, really shows me how much I meant.

That’s just me, a girl with a big heart, that seems to always fall for the dicks in shining armour. Like what is so wrong for wanted to be like so crazy in love, with a partner who genuinely values you, and helps complete my home, with my son. A girl can dream though right.

I know the ex won’t read this, though he has a paper version, so it’s off my chest. But also I hope this serves as a reminder, that no matter how hard, or how dark the storm is, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Do not settle for a dick, find your prince charming.

~RebeccaKLxo

a special december delivery.

*In partnership with Lapland Letters*

While I was away in NY, Jackson had a special little delivery. This year, as he is now 4 years old, he is very much all in the Christmas spirit. Which is ironic since the home at the moment is pretty bah humbug, for personal reasons.

So this little parcel came, brightened Jackson’s day! Jackson was so pleased to receive a Christmas is coming letter from Santa!. Which included a cute activity pack too, which Jackson has absolutely loved doing with me. Including making wish baubles, and a letter writing prompt to mail back to Santa. A great addition was a pack of reindeer food, which has been added into Jackson’s Christmas Eve box.

The coolest thing about this, is that the service is totally customisable, and personalized to each individual child. And for a limited time, you could receive an early bird offer, which includes the same activity pack that we received.

We are beyond pleased with the quality and attention detail. And fully highly recommend adding this into your own festivities, especially if you have children!

Visit: https://www.laplandletters.co.uk/index.htm Utilize you’re direct access to Santa’s workshop in Lapland.

~RebeccaKLxo & Jackson x

Diary entry/My thoughts

It’s not been a good month, and Christmas will be very shit, however hopefully coming to the New Year will be much better. A girl can hope, but after at least 4 years of being extremely unhappy, and never taken seriously. There is a breaking point.

It’s even scarier the thought of restarting over, and my god will it be at least years before I’m ready for anything else. My main priority is my son. Especially since I now have to give up my dream career, because I just cannot focus on it.

The lack of care, has really gotten to me though, but shows right decision I have ever made.

At what point do you stop crying yourself to sleep? Also when’s appropriate to get rid of all photos? Asking for a friend?

“Maybe you have to know the darkness, before you appreciate the light.”

Madeline L’Engle

Just a little update, so all future posts may be a little later.

These posts include: NYC and Lapland Letters.

Thank you for reading my blog, and for following. Don’t forget to check out my blog merch and support me by visiting www.rebeccaklxo.teemill.com

~RebeccaKLxo

men, please do better…

‘Men are certainly the problem.’

This literally happened at 7:45pm last night. And I was so taken aback and uncomfortable, I literally lost my train of thought while I was speaking to my flatmate, who was just as uncomfortable by this incident as I was. I really hope if any men read this, it will be a bit of food for thought, maybe even educate themselves.

I as a 27 year old women, didn’t think I would still get unsolicited advice from a creepy middle aged white male while on the local bus service. Especially during this day and age, you wouldn’t see two men giving unsolicited advice about their body parts. Yet here I am writing this.

I was sat on the bus talking about my tattoos to my flatmate on our way into town. Just between me and her, we was talking about my chest tattoo and clothing. Then while I was in mid sentence, the bloke in question chimed in with, ‘flaunt what you got’ clearly referencing my chest.

I was so uncomfortable, we immediately got off on our stop, and I zipped up my leather jacket. I wasn’t even wearing anything revealing or sexy. Just a blue long sleeved top with a square neckline. It is not okay to but into a conversation that didn’t concern you, and make any comments about a women’s body.

This is a short account, that I wanted to share as it really made me uncomfortable and I feel like I need to call it out. It’s sad that we are in 2021, and this is still thought to be okay.

~RebeccaKLxo

FIlm Review: halloween kills๐ŸŽƒ

It’s been a little quiet around here, because seven days ago I became pretty ill, which was suspected Covid virus. However after a very bad morning, and several consultations and negative Covid tests later, I was diagnosed with a pneumonia based chest infection. Safe to say the few days following that, and starting medication has been proper rough…

That being said, you best be damned if you think I will be missing my second favourite horror icon, Michael Myers. So Tuesday night, I donned a face mask, and met with my ex-colleague friend for our horror movie date night at the local cinema. Also I was armed with snacks and drink. I was a women with a plan, if I’m eating or drinking, I can’t be coughing. Sound logic right. I can tell you know, It worked but with a backfire, the intense urge to use the bathroom, which I wasn’t prepared to do. Possible spoiler warning going forward.

As always Halloween Kills is a classic as always. I thought it would be a great closing to a spectacular franchise. I genuinely thought this was going to be closure on Michael Myers. Also I have to say Jamie Lee Curtis’s acting in this is so realistic it’s scary. The fear and desperation in her eyes at the beginning, cuts your soul. It answered some questions, it doesn’t answer one question I personally noticed. But that’s fine because it gives me the excuse for a Halloween movie marathon day and night, so I can find my own answers. I went through an emotional rollercoaster as a viewer. A scene where they’re chasing the obvious wrong person, was so frustrating to view. In my head I was shouting, “IT’S NOT MICHEAL”.

I was especially pleased to see that the firefighter scene was in and it was an epic scene. If you haven’t seen there was a news post from some individuals who wanted this scene taken out because of ‘offence’. All I have to say to that is snowflakes. I can’t imagine this film without this scene. In my opinion it is a key scene, I do have family in the fire service, and like I said I was not offended by this scene, because it is a fictional horror FILM. The scene has a purpose, to prove Michael Myers doesn’t care who you are, he will kill you. This scene totally proves it.

The ending though… I must say was great, although knowing it was not the same original ending. Makes me really wonder what the original ending is like. I really want to know! That being said, the ending that I did saw I thought was great. A perfectly open ended closure to the movie, leaving the viewer (especially me) hoping for another film.

Have you seen Halloween Kills? What did you think? Thank you for reading my film review. What should I review next?

~RebeccaKLxo

Pageant&Anxiety: a real struggle.

Pageantry is my only and main hobby. I absolutely love it. However itโ€™s not a simple and peaceful union for this individual. Unfortunately as much as I wish it didnโ€™t mental health pays a huge role in my life, and itโ€™s always the devilish role.

It’s really not a good thing, if you can’t think of a positive notion mental health has added to your life. Could that be a reason as to why mental health is so stigmatised, because it is known to be a negative notion. What isn’t great for myself personally is the link that my mental health has on my hobby.

The irony of the shy introverted girl who loves the pageant stage, even if it doesn’t seem it, because of how I seem. I am the girl who dreamt of being a catwalk model since she was 5 years old, yet never achieved that official due to height restrictions. I used to put on pretend fashion shows in my mum’s back yard, as well as practice a straight catwalk along the garden path. So pageantry feels like a natural fit. Or so you would think.

However, courtesy of my mind, after every single pageant I compete in, no matter the outcome. Not how hard I worked in the run up to the pageant finals. I also do not control it, because I am always so proud of my personal pageant journey, and all I achieve as a finalist. I am also way too happy for my fellow sisters who competed too. I follow all journeys and get so proud of everyone! So it really upsets me when people think my post pageant breakdowns, are rude or bad sportsmanship. I can assure you it’s not.

During the breakdown, it’s a cycle of thoughts including:

  • Wasn’t good enough, you may of improved but you did not improve enough.
  • Never going to be good enough, imposter syndrome.
  • Only awarded in a pity way.
  • Feeling sorry, for not seemingly to improve enough, more pity.

That on a cycle going around and around is not easy to handle. Hence why 9 times out of 10, I retreat to my safe space, and look after myself first. It’s never because of jealousy or being a sore loser. It’s preserving myself. It’s not a fun battle to have, and a hard one with the pressure of people thinking it’s bad sportsmanship. It’s very hard to get out of but also sadly a very public one.

Ending on a positive note, as I continue to navigate this battle, it will make finally prevailing because of my improvements and hard work, all the more worth it.

‘Your Dream is Achievable’

~RebeccaKLxo

Obtainable Goals: A Life Update.

I know I’ve been very quiet. Though I’ve missed making my blogging content. However with good reason. Although I do not think I have talked about my future career goals on here, except maybe I’ve spoken about trying to build the blog more full time.

However, I know with the thousands of blogs and content creators out there, it’s a big ‘dog eat dog’ world, I guess that’s what the saying is. I would be so worried that I loose the enjoyment I have writing my blogs which are personal to me, a woman who’s a mother, managing with anxiety, just navigating this crazy crazy world.

I do have, what I like to call professional goals. This is my career based goals. When I was younger, about 8 years old, I used to want to be a Marine Biologist. I was fascinated by the ocean and it’s variety of ocean creatures, often writing mini information essays about said creatures or copying encyclopaedia passages out, over an over. Reminiscing on this memory, as an adult makes me realise one thing. The biggest flaw in this past goal was that I cannot swim. I was never taught how, and i have such a fear of water being in my eyes, that I can’t even handle goggles because I’m still anxious the water will get in. Learning how to is one of my adult goals now, however I can’t find any adult classes, so I fear the boat is out on that one.

I have spoken about this on my Instagram account. I feel the best use of my skills and interests, as well as personal reasons driving me to achieve my dream career as a forensic psychologist. This really would be the second most rewarding part of my life, after being a mother. Upon realising this goal, I identified and broke down my goal into achievable steps. Steps towards my goal.

  • Obtain my Access to HE certificate qualification, to enable me to get a place on my dream career.
  • Get place on my dream undergrad degree, Forensic Psychology.
  • Get a place on a relevant further training and experience.
  • Become a qualified/trained forensic psychologist.

2020 I went back to college to obtain my Access to HE certificate in humanities. I studied sociology, politics and international relations and psychology. This reignited my interest in psychology. I passed and completed my certificate, and gained a place on my dream university course, a BA in Forensic Psychology with a placement year. A great opportunity to utilize and gain professional experience.

http://www.twitter.com/rebeccaklxo

Cut to today, where I am actively preparing for this next chapter of my life. Spurred on by the motivation I get from my son, who I do this for. In the aim to give him a better life. I hope to evolve my blog as I go through this big journey in my life, which I am the most proudest I am of me. For more regular updates you can follow my instagram: rebeccaklxo

I thank my readers for hanging in there and following my personal story via my blog.

~RebeccaKLxo

Malignant : Film Review ๐ŸŽž

*I suggest watching the film yourself, before reading my review, SPOILERS warning*

I stumbled across the move trailer for this horror film on Facebook. Lately, Iโ€™ve been enjoying scrolling through the videos on Facebook and the reels on Instagram. As a fan of James Wan directed horror films, I had high hopes for Malignant.

Like every trailer, I always assume and/or think that it won’t be out for a while, at 6 months or so. So when my friend texted me saying it was out, when shall we go a see it. I jumped on this opportunity. I just had to watch it. My initial thoughts after viewing the trailer, was positive. I thought the premise was unique. I also feel James Wan is a director/producer you either love or hate. I happen to love his movies.

After viewing, and even a few nights later as I write this, I’m still thinking about the premise of this film. At first I thought it was going to be centred around ghosts. Boy was I wrong. Even while watching, I never picked up the plot until it was explained in film. Then I could understand and see it. I never noticed the connections between the characters and locations. Like I never would of known the devil character was in the attic, not the sewers like I thought.

Now I have watched a lot of horror films, too many to count. And I was impressed by this unique and never before done story it told. I will be one to re watch this movie again in the future. If you are a fellow James Wan fan, I for sure recommend seeing the Malignant movie.

Boy did I miss writing these short film reviews. Have you guys missed reading them? Shall I start writing ones for Netflix films too? I also welcome films to watch suggestions.

As always, thank you for reading!

~RebeccaKLxo